4 Keys for Powerful Mentorship: Who is your Xhamela?

"In a peasant society, a person walking with a stout stick, a staff- (…) is a common sight. One always has it around. It aids one to maintain a steady, firm gait (...). It’s also a weapon to help one defend oneself against any unforeseen danger that may arise in the journey. With it one feels secure and safe. Such was Xhamela to me.” 

If we’re lucky, we’ll have a mentor such as Walter Sisulu (or, Xhamela) was to Mandela. And if we value our life not just as an individual expression but rather as part of a collective force by which to help others soar, we might also become mentors. 

July 18 is Mandela Day. Usually, we venerate great leaders by enumerating achievements. But I’d like to look at his legacy from a different lens- from the inside out: What happened behind the scenes? What helped bolster Mandela’s resolve? Who guided him?  

Walter Sisulu, aka Xhamela. Mandela’s mentor.

Four Key Ingredients for Powerful Mentorship— 

⭐︎Humility and whole-heartedness— Wise mentors don’t take just anyone under their wing; they choose mentees able to carry the torch forward— farther and better. After Mandela was elected President, Sisulu reflected, ''I had no hesitation, the moment I met him, that this is the man I need (...) for leading the African people.'' A mentor gives his all not to gain recognition, but to help his mentee fly.

⭐︎Commitment— Both parties are all in for the long haul. Sisulu helped Mandela through law school and into the ANC. Their friendship spanned 60 years, of which they spent 25 incarcerated on Robbens Island. Upon release, they took up the anti-Apartheid movement where they’d left off.

⭐︎Coherence— After prison, the pair chose optimism over revenge. Aligned with the African National Congress non-racial principle, Sisulu  explained, ''Bitterness does not do your cause any good. That doesn't mean you don't get angry. But you don't let it get in the way of your policy.''  

 ⭐︎Trust and honesty— Both parties keep it real in service of growth. Mandela considered Sisulu his complement, a voice of reason that countered his tendency to act too quickly. In his 1994 biography, Mandela wrote, “(Sisulu) never lost his head in a crisis. He was often silent when others were shouting.''

Personal note: S/O to my mentor, Stéphane Madec. At a time when France was agitated by racial tensions and often unopposed expressions of prejudice, Stéphane taught me the value of diversity and power of inclusion. 

I learned how to turn dance fitness classes into communities. Moroccans, Algerians, Ethiopians, Senegalese, Iranians, Cambodians… and me. French was our common language, but Stéphane showed me how to speak to people’s heart. 

♡As I look back at his legacy and now at the impact I’ve been able to make, I’m happy. I think he’d be proud. Inclusion is the hallmark of my teaching. It’s the value that gives meaning and direction to my decisions. 

♡My mentor led me to my life’s work.

If only he knew how much he embodied Mandela’s wisdom: “If you want the cooperation of humans around you, you must make them feel they are important. And you do that by being genuine and humble." 

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