443,000 Reasons to Help: US Kids Need Foster Care and Adoptive Homes

The child must know that he is a miracle— that, since the beginning of the world, there hasn't been and, until the end of the world, there will not be another child like him. -Pablo Casals

While others swipe right and left on potential love interests, I scroll through pages of profiles that all look the same. No personality. No emojis. Outdated photos- or none at all. All written in 3rd person by narrators who seem to be doing PR for clients they’ve never met.

At the bottom of the page, I’m prompted to “browse” the other 163 selections.

Below each name, a “click here” button invites users to “learn more.” Wincing at the sales-like calls to action, I click. A pop-up opens. The format reads like a rap sheet: impersonal, institutional. The details include case number, race (sometimes “undetermined” or incorrect), status (“available” or “awaiting processing”), age and gender. A short bio appears at the bottom. 

As a writer and editor, I recognize the bios are a hodgepodge of descriptive phrases likely pooled from multiple sources— and, sometimes, even borrowed from other profiles. Some are long; others short. Sometimes both “he” and “she” are used in reference to the same person. 

Side Note: Storytelling is a booming industry. And copywriting for online profiles is a profitable niche.

The concept of story as a driver to market services and products has been brewing for a minute. Inspired by Apple’s “Think different” campaign, Simon Sinek’s seminal work “Start with Why” and the surge of social media— almost everyone has created an online profile. From LinkedIn to Facebook and Instagram, social platforms have democratized expression. They let us reinvent ourselves continuously and target the audience(s) we want to engage with.

But this isn’t the case for everyone. 

It seems private sector businesses invest more effort into writing copy to sell their products than the Department of Social Services deems necessary to tell the stories of the foster care children in its charge. 

My heart sinks. In a system responsible for the welfare of some of the country’s most vulnerable kids, there’s a patent disconnect.

At best, it’s a failure to preserve dignity. At worst, it’s a process that reduces the human experience to a transaction.

Irritated and incredulous, I searched other websites.

Alas, an effort at storytelling: Children’s Home Society of Virginia features video interviews of children awaiting adoption. Finally, kids get the chance to tell their story in their own words.

Agency matters.

I spent hours watching the videos. Here’s a sound bite that hit home: 

Nevaeh: “I don’t know what being adopted is like, but (I think it’s like) someone being by your side— someone who wants to take care of you.”

And as an adopted person, I get what it feels like to be chosen, what it feels like to be wanted- and what a blessing it is to have been removed from the foster care cycle and placed in a forever home. 

I understand what Nevaeh wonders about. I live the reality that eludes her.

During the holidays, many of us will make a concerted effort to take stock of things we sometimes take for granted throughout the year. It usually sounds like “I’m grateful for my friends, fulfilling work, good health…” 

But this year, I invite you to look at gratitude from a different lens- from Nevaeh’s perspective:

“If I had a treasure chest, I’d put all my bad things in it. Then, when I looked at it, I’d be like, ‘This is what I’ve overcome.’” 

If this isn’t abundance mindset, I don’t know what is. 

How ironic (or maybe not): Some of the best wisdom I’ve ever heard comes from a child- a 16 year-old who knows the deal— who knows she’s more likely to age out of the system than to be adopted.

This Christmas, we’ll be grateful for what we have. And, if we’re as brave as Nevaeh, we’ll treasure our “bad things,” too. ❤️

How to help: mentor, foster, or adopt a child; support foster parents. A few orgs I ❤️: Children's Home Society of Virginia, Pajama Program - Official, Austin Angels

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADuewFJon_I&feature=youtu.be